i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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