after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
there was a trapeze. enough said
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
