he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Damn victory sex feels great
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
