Plan B is the new Plan A
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
