he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
