I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just gift wrapped bread.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
