Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
