Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
