I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
