she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
