Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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