Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
