I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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