I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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