p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
