Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So apparently I’m into choking now
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