You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
