Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
