I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
