every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
