My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
operation have a gay friend backfired
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
