my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
