Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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