I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
