she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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