Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
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