my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
