Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
