I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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