I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
