I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
