I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
