the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you will always have a special place in my vag
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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