That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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