I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
