No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
