took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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