Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
