Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
