I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I have post one night stand depression
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