It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
4 words: hood of his car
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
well you can't waste a boner
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
