a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
