My room smells like vodka and shame
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
