If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
