I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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