im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
