remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
