i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
