I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
