your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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